Wow, today has been a little bonkers. That means you get...bullets!

• Part of the earth's ridge is missing. My personal theory is that aliens have taken it for examination, but there's an expedition out there to find out the truth.
• The expedition members should qualify for zillions of the science scout badges. I think Butch R. Cleaver should apply for the badge with a martini on it.
• The League of Electronic Musical Robots (aka LEMUR) would like to take over your world. Bzzzz! Beeep!
• Remote-controlled hopping yodeling lederhosen. You're welcome.
• A safe that looks like an iceberg lettuce! Keep it in your fridge!
• Actually, you could keep it right next to the iced coffee-flavored straws. Yes, really.